Drew Barrymore gave her 11-year-old daughter a phone, then took it away 3 months later

Like many parents of a teenager, Drew Barrymore has spent a long time pausing to give her now 12-year-old daughter, Olive, a cell phone.

And again, like many parents, she eventually gave up after doing a lot of research on “dumb phones” (aka devices without apps, social media, etc).

It only took her days to deeply regret that decision—all because of a shocking discovery she made on her daughter’s device.

Even without access to social networks.

Drew caved to peer pressure

In an Instagram post titled “Phone Home,” the childhood star candidly shares how she bowed to pressure and gave her daughter a cell phone before she was sure they were both ready for the milestone.

“I’m writing (in a very vulnerable way) to put myself as a parent,” her post begins.

“It’s personal for me. I wished many times when I was a child that someone would tell me no. I really wanted to rebel all the time, and that was because I had no handrails. I had a lot of access to excess and eventually ‘no’ became a challenge.”

Mom goes on to explain how she’s always been about the word “no” with both of her daughters, Olive and Frankie, because she sees it as important that they have the childhood she didn’t have – a structured one.

“Now that I’m a mom, I can’t believe I’m in a world that I know relates to my own personal traps and many of my peers who fell in too soon.”

“Children should not be exposed to so much. Children must be protected. Children need to hear NO. But we are living in an a la carte system as caregivers, in a modern, fast-moving world where small computers are in the hands of every adult, modeling that it is okay to connect to a device that is a portal to literally anything.”

The dangers of such a life became apparent when Drew didn’t say no and gave her daughter her first cell phone.

“All her friends had one, the age-old phenomenon that all parents face: the comparison argument,” she explains.

“And so, on her 11th birthday, she got a phone, just to use on weekends and for a limited amount of time without social media.”

Why did Drew take away her 11-year-old’s cell phone?

Just three months later, Drew made a shocking discovery.

“Within three months I collected text and behavior data. I was shocked by the results,” she admits honestly.

“Life depended on the phone. Happiness was embedded in it. The source of life came from this mini digital box. The mood depended on the equipment.”

Wanting to put an end to “these great emotions,” Drew decided to do the unthinkable.

She printed out the texts and data to present to her young daughter to explain why she would no longer have a device.

“I gave her a bunch of pages and said this is not a black void that these people travel through. They’re permanently somewhere we don’t see it, so we don’t believe in its withdrawn nature and cursed if we digitally fail to act politely,” she says.

“I made sure she knew she was a good person and that this was not a punishment for her character. She is so wonderful, and I so understood her desire to be a part of everyone. Even though she didn’t have any social media on her phone, let’s face it… it might seem like the last party, and I was kicking her out of it – not because she did anything wrong, but because it wasn’t time yet. “

“And I just came to the conclusion that I’m not ready to let my kids have a phone.”

An important life “experiment”.

Drew goes on to explain how she doesn’t regret the decision to give her daughter a phone, but sees it as an important lesson for both of them.

The lesson sparked a little passion project in the star mom to find a way to help kids stay connected in a digital world, without the digital world working against them.

And until she finds that way, the answer will be “no.”

She ends the post with a plea for other parents who aren’t sure if they’re ready to not be afraid to also be the unpopular parent in their own homes.

“I want to let parents know that we can live with the worry of our children waiting,” she insists.

“We can gloat and know that we’re doing what we now know is a safer, slower, scaffolded approach.

“I will be the parent I needed. The adult I needed.”